I was in labor and things got real, REAL fast. There is no way to describe the pain I was in….Brad was terrified and my mom was attempting to hold me down on the hospital bed as I shook uncontrollably. The nurse came in and suggested I try turning on my side.
That was pointless.
She then suggested I try getting on all fours and facing the back of the bed. She assured me this would relieve some of the pain in my back. So, there I was in all my glory, on all fours with an open back hospital gown and my ass in the air for all to see.
I’m going to skip the details of what happened next because it was not that funny, in fact it was a little scary for me, but I will say that it required a small group of nurses to come in and assess the situation. Included in that group was a young intern candy-striper (we’ll call her Ashley) who was just 17 years old and about to graduate from high school to go on to nursing school. Ashley was eager to help upon entering the room but I distinctly remember the frightening look on her face as she realized what was happening.
After things calmed down a little I noticed Ashley was standing quietly, slightly off to the side of the room. I wondered what she was thinking as I could feel the uncomfortable energy radiating from her.
My mother made a comment to the effect of
“I was really hoping that position on all fours was going to give you some relief.”
To which I replied,
“Me too mom. It’s what got me into this mess and I was hoping would get me out.”
She cut her eyes at me in disapproval but I noticed Ashley quietly chuckled and covered her mouth a bit. I had to keep going.
“I’m just kidding mom.”
(slight pause for effect as mom breathed a sigh of relief)
“It was SEVERAL positions!”